Haunted House

This past week provided a milestone for myself. I went to my first haunted house. It has been 23 years but I finally did it. I never had gone before before because it never seemed enjoyable for me to spend 20+ bucks for people to jump out at me and possibly touch me. (I'm not the biggest fan of people touching me. My friend Tommy has always been insistent on giving me a back message. He knows I hate it though. I hate being touched, even by my friends.) (Girls can touch me. That's cool.)

Scary movies don't have much of an effect on me. I'm good at convincing myself that it's just a story and that realistically there is nothing to be afraid of. I figured I would apply the same logic to a haunted house; I know the people will be jumping out at me and I know they are hired actors who live a similar life to my own. Perhaps they don't live a similar life because I feel like you might be a weirdo if your preferred type of employment is an environment where blood, gore and strobe lights are on constant display. Going into the haunted house, I never thought I would be scared. I thought I would laugh.

I had a date with me so it added a little pressure to be brave. If I jump in the slightest then it would show a glaring weakness in my man hood.I needed to be on the top of my game.

Waiting in line for the main haunt attraction, we went through some smaller side tents. They were simple but effective and still managed to frighten me. When we got back in line the guy that held our spot said the small tents were lame and not scary and that the main event was much better. I thought great, the small tents scared me and they're supposedly "lame."

Inside the main haunt, I made sure that there was at least one person in front of me at all times. That way they'd take the blunt of the scares. This plan turned out to be super effective. It allowed to be more at ease and prevent me from looking like a scaredy cat.

Raiders game just started so imma wrap this up.

Highlights of the haunted house,
a little girl acted like she was too scared to move on. She was crying saying she was too scared. A dad in our group invited her to join us. Later she was kidnapped by some dude. So she ended up being part of the show.

Another girl asked if i'd be her friend and then warned, "you know what I do to people who aren't my friend, I SET THEM ON FIRE!!!!"

My date paid for my ticket because I don't use venom, so no matter how brave I act I already looked like poop.

My date was pretty so all of the characters chased her with their chainsaws and knives. One guy told her to wait because he had a gift for her and then he came back chasing her with a chainsaw. That was funny.

Anyway, I'm sure my haunted house days are going to be limited from here out. Probably another 23 years or so before I go back.