Strangers

Today I lose my blogging virginity. Growing up in the church, I saw first hand the signs and comings of blogging and I was sincerely hoping I would maintain this state of virtue and innocence throughout my entire life, but sadly it has come to an end. At BYU of all places.

Special Appearance by Kory Jensen today. He sits across from me at the library. He and I often find each other in the periodicals and it is common for us to sit in proximity of one another and study with the occasional anecdote. Many of our common friends participate in this common ritual as the periodicals have become our social gathering on campus. We've been recognized as the loud tables that everyone gets annoyed with. What is less common however, is when a stranger decides to infiltrate our clique and take a coveted seat at our table.

Today as Kory and I chatted about the recent college football games, a random girl approached our table and asked if she could sit down. I said yes assuming she was an acquaintance of his. I quickly learned she was an unknown person to both of us and was now awkwardly inserted into a conversation where she didn't belong. This becomes even more peculiar when you consider the vast amount of open seats around us. It's 11 in the morning on a friday before labor day weekend. The library is barren. What is she doing here? This is becoming an ongoing problem at BYU. Strangers. They're everywhere and they're trying to make friends.

Its the first week of school. It's easy to notice the large population of recently returned missionaries on campus. By recently, I mean within the last 2-3 months. You can spot them because they're trying to talk to someone about where they're from while the other person tries to quietly escape. You can also spot them from their crew neck garment line under a v-neck shirt. I've been approached by a couple of these RM's and the conversation is always the same.
(note; when the conversation starts, i'm usually sitting by myself in class with my head phones in, giving off the idea that I'm trying to remove myself as far as possible from the class room)

the RM will sit next to me. The eagerness to chat is so apparent in his puppy eyes. I begin to realize I'm doomed.
RM: hey how's it going? I'm Tevis.
my thoughts: (Tevis? utah for sure)
ME: Hey, I'm Daniel.
RM.: where are you from Daniel?
ME: Kansas
RM: Kansas?! cool. You never hear of that one!
Me: No not too much.
RM: Im from Saratoga Springs, what are you studying? (people from Utah always say the random city assuming everyone has heard of it. I always act like I do because i want the conversation to end)
Me: Buisness
RM: Oh cool! and What do you want to do with that?
and so on.

this conversation happens about 3 times a day. Sometimes when you're really unlucky two RMs will sit on each side of you and you can have the conversation twice in one siting. Being in this situation is comparable to losing the remote to the TV and having the channel stuck on CSPAN. It sucks.

Some people would encourage others to "break out of their shell" and to "put themselves out there". I say the opposite. I'm not interested in meeting strangers. I feel like I give of enough of a vibe to argue this point. If you've ever sat on a plane and prayed that the person next to you wouldn't turn your direction and begin conversation then you know the feeling. It's not horrible to have small talk, but once it starts then your'e trapped for there next 50 minutes to an hour and a half learning about how Spencer had a miracle baptism when he was AP.

There's only one reason why a stranger should approach you that I deem appropriate. Sexual attraction. That's why I don't why dudes coming up to me in class. It's weird. But members of the opposite gender may approach if the appropriate steps are taken before hand. Eye contact and a smile. Clear non spoken communication indicating a greeting as acceptable. BUT THE COMMUNICATION MUST HAPPEN!

The story of Tommy and the library girl is a classical rendition of what can happen when strangers approach uninvitedly. Now, if you study in the periodicals, then you know the library girl. She's the girl that is constantly walking up and down the aisles with her head phones blasting music. You may have also noticed that she appears to never wear a bra, or if she is then not a supportive one because he boobs bounce all over the place. One day she took over the fourth chair of our four person table despite not knowing any of the rest of us. Similar to today, many tables were left completely empty around us. She began a conversation with Tommy (names have been changed for safety). He didn't appear interested but he took down her number regardless. In a tragic tales of misfortune and loneliness, Tommy and the library girl wound up isolated from other friends on a couch with a scary movie. An ending we all know too well. Of course the only way out, is to make out. Days, weeks, and even months of awkwardness and humiliation followed Tommy from this obscure incident. Tragic indeed.

This is the end of my first blog. Next week I'll probably talk about the bachelor or something.